on being so glad this week is over.

[please forgive that i'm using my blog to say this]

if i were being petulant and self absorbed and exactly the kind of girl i hate being, i'd say this: am i even fucking here, douche? do i exist at all? even in your periphery?

but i'm neither petulant nor self absorbed (ever!), so i'm going to leave it at this: the kind of question i asked, it deserves an answer. so just give me one already. the only reason i asked is because i was feeling particularly sure of myself and i thought you'd like that.

i probably wouldn't be this annoyed if it weren't another one-way sunday and you were the only bee in my bonnet right now. but you're just another thing to make me feel totally transparent (and ignorable) right now. and i took a chance, which is supposed to pay off - at least once, ever!

just say yes! or no! but say something.

nights like tonight are why i much prefer timidity to bravery and proactivity. i am far too familiar with the backfire, and clinging tenuously to my dignity. reward my chutzpah, seriously.

i hate being this in tune with the exclamation point as a literary device.