A Text from Cera

Monday, September 29, 2008 11:25pm --

My neighbor just got mugged in the courtyard.

Editor's note: I started this whole "text messages from Cera" thing because she regularly sends me random hilarity with no context. This decidedly does not fall under the heading of "hilarious," unless you count the part where I strapped my knife to my belt to walk to my car this morning (hilarious only because my knife would do me absolutely no good whatsoever against an assailant, and would result in one of two things: it being taken away and used to stab me as said assailant laughed at my pathetic attempts at self defense, or it being a catalyst in getting myself in WAY over my head for no good reason at all. Also hilarious in that "wow, that's so not even a little bit funny" way).

Also note that the only reason my (pregnant) best friend lives in this forsaken place is because I lived here when she moved to Indianapolis. Also note that said neighbor got mugged AT GUNPOINT, which renders my flea market knife thrice useless. To be fair, at the very least, Cera has a gentleman living with her who could probably cut a bitch if it came to that. I, however, am (among other things), a woman who lives alone. I have already once this year gone through a period of feeling like my safety here was dubious at best (remember that week that my bike was stolen from where it was locked to the banister outside the door of my third floor apartment in my locked hallway? and then two days later I caught some burly Jamaican dude trying to break into said hallway? word) and I'm SO TIRED OF IT.

So, I thought this was a good opportunity to announce that it is official. I have signed a lease, handed over a chunk of security deposit, and delivered my thirty day notice in writing. On November 1st, Jen and I are leaving the ghetto behind for the hood, where we have (thanks to my wicked rental-procurement talents) found ourselves one half of a beauty of an old house with original hardwoods, a fenced in backyard already sectioned for gardening (and composting!), a driveway, a front porch, and a washer and dryer.

Best yet, Lisa, James and Anniepants are moving into the other half on the very same weekend, and Pal will be joining Jen and I on our side once her lease expires in January. May I just say: ten steps closer to commune! It is the best of all possible outcomes for me, as I get to reintegrate into my most favorite of all neighborhoods and I get to take all of my most beloved people with me.

Won't you join me in raising a middle finger in salute of Meridian-Kessler south of 38th street?