On Fashion

Woe are we who will inevitably be left behind, as fashion makes itself widely available to those of leggy teenage proportion, not those of atypical woman proportion (please note that at 5'6" I have a 23 inch inseam, and am thereby a freak of nature).

This of course, is not a new dilemma, nor is it particularly vexing, because some of us know better than to wear something ugly merely because it is trendy.

But we've been over that whole skinny jeans thing before, and I just thought I'd let you know that it still bothers me.

There has been a great deal of discussion about legs this year past, especially since mine have been headlining the daily papers. I've swelled up due to tendonitis. I've swelled up due to deep vein thrombosis (which, thanks to the tendonitis, was difficult to catch). I'm currently suffering a mysterious onslaught of tender muscles and deep bone ache that has been proven to be nothing visible on an ultrasound or an entire slew of blood tests (and which WebMD has informed me is most likely to be the early signs of multiple sclerosis).

I've been cheerfully informed by Mr. Lee, Keystone Avenue's master tailor, that my left leg is so much shorter than my right it's no wonder that I have a debilitating fear of snapping an ankle. The fact that I don't have more problems with my legs and feet utterly (he admits it) defies my podiatrist's entire understanding of the human body. Mr. Lee was not surprised.

(Skinny jeans would only make them look shorter.)

Today, driving my Pal to the bus station so she could embark on a journey to see her boyfriend, we drove through downtown Indianapolis scoffing at all the girls in their skinny jeans, hating each and every second we had to watch them being all nubile in fashion statements we'll never be able to wear, no matter how badly we want to.

Pal, looking out the window, sighed and said, "I'll never be able to wear those without my legs looking like they came from a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken."

It's a damn good thing that I got all the good friends, since this is the stuff that makes life worth living, even without skinny jeans.