Sicko.

2007 tax return check, large enough to subsidize:

- laser hair removal (goodbye sideburns: hello wearing a ponytail without looking like a boy)

- a week in California with Lindsay and Logan

- every season of every television show I've ever liked on DVD.

- several bottles of Johnny Walker Blue.

- winter coat fetish

- taking three weeks off work to do whatever the hell I want

- a credit hour or two at the University of Indianapolis

Instead, this year, I will be signing my check over to the imaging center in Lexington, to pay off a third of what I owe them for two (2) procedures my insurance company is refusing to pay for, as I did not get forewarning on my medical emergency and near death experience, thus forewarning the insurance company accordingly.

I love you, Aetna. Will you marry me? I know I have sideburns like a boy, but I think we can make this work.