just gravy.

so, i don't really believe in new year's resolutions. since they never work and all. on thursday night, having dinner with niqke and her family, i was implored by a young boy to share one (along with the rest of the table), so i hastily declared that i would discontinue the practice of bringing home boys from the theatre.

good in theory, good in practice - no more annoyed roommates, no more couches that smell like sweaty bassist, no more seven people trying to take hot showers in one morning, etcetera.

but i wouldn't call it a resolution. more like good common sense.

i will say that i have embarked on a mission to become at least slightly healthier, which so far involves a 30 minute boxing session every afternoon and some ridiculously sore back/shoulder muscles. this was not a specifically new year activity, however - it just so happened that the miracle of a punching bag was delivered to me at christmas, and a kindly not un-young gentleman accompanied me home on friday night to put it together (a task i could not have completed myself if only because the stand is approximately three feet taller than i am).

i have also given serious consideration to giving up the cigarettes. this is a many splendored thing. a 30 minute workout is seriously more difficult if you smoke immediately before and after; the two things go hand in hand. plus, i spend approximately 1/4 of my weekly budget on cigarettes. give that some consideration. plus, it's been, oh, FOUR YEARS, since i've been interested in/pursued by any gentleman who was a smoker.

so, i'm doing it for the boys, see.

but it's not about a new year, it's about coincidence, bad timing, conclusion and gin & tonics. i'll quit smoking, i'll get into shape, i'll stop dallying with musicians (if for nothing else than my frail adolescent heart), and i'll continue being brave and brazen. when i woke up at 10:30 on monday morning (after falling asleep to the simpsons at 10:30 on sunday night), i stepped out onto the back porch, lit a camel, and said "rabbit fucking rabbit," as i crouched under the bleak sky. i'd say it's going to be a long haul.

truthfully, though? were i going to make a resolution, it would be this:

i resolve to be conscious and aware of the fact that i am now too old to be the girl who gets drunk at the party, takes her pants off, and makes out with strangers.