17 October 2006

it's that time of year again.

[where i start posting obsessively in an attempt to avoid homework as long into the wee hours of the night as possible.]

MY VERY MOST FAVORITE THINGS THAT I'VE LEARNED FROM ANTHROPOLOGY

1. women have a creepy enzyme that releases in the 3rd trimester of pregnancy, and it EATS YOUR CARTILAGE. expectant mothers beware: don't let that bitch push you down those stairs.

2. marxism is still a rather valid field of academic influence.

3. objects are multivalent - that is, every object in the world has more than one meaning dependent on who is using them, looking at them, buying them, selling them. multivalence is, honestly, the spice of life.

4. the first thing that gets delivered to an archaeological dig: the liquor.

5. it is decidedly NOT ETHICAL to give infected blood to a group of people you are studying.

6. a skeleton that hasn't been boiled entirely clean smells kind of bad, but it's not intolerable.

7. if you have a sinus infection, go to the fucking doctor. otherwise your brain's going to get infected and YOU'RE GOING TO DIE.

8. colonial gardens were so much more than just gardens. they were actually an instrument of social control!

9. the cia really tends to fuck things up, especially in the cold war era.

10. pretty much the entire world sucks at life, and there's not really anything you can do about it, but let's watch this movie about this genocide and then you can go home and not sleep.

11. hitler and darth vader? they're really bad guys.

12. scientists have a very distinctive sense of entitlement that's really kind of gross and frustrating.

13. hummel figurines are not just cute. they're in fact so overwhelmingly cute that it's FASCIST.

14. australian cowboys are freaking awesome.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the dental caries that kill you - you know, that small cavity in the tooth that turns into the periodontal disease that rots your tooth, poisons your bloodstream, and eventually eats through your skull bones until you die, toothless and insane. Also as scary as sinus infections (can I TELL you about the flossing binge I went on after that lecture!).
:)
I love you.

Frank Charlemagne said...

Simply misunderstood.

Anonymous said...

Cute in a facist kind of way. I like that.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I fucking misspelled fascist. That's great. Me and my fancy fucking English degree can't even spell fascist. Not even when I'm looking at the goddamned word. So stupid! So fat! So ugly! That's my mother never calls!

Anonymous said...

And I meant to write that's why mother never calls!!! What the hell? $90,000 in student loan debt for this?

Admin said...

funny!