in the life.

7:30 am, walgreens, indianapolis.

i am contemplating life on burgess avenue, life at cherry tree plaza, wondering exactly how tired i can get, and how long we can live like this before we kill each other. i am sad because i missed america's next top model the previous night.

the woman who works the cash register in the early mornings is my favorite. every time i come in, she tells me how pretty i am, and how good i smell, and what great style i have. i prefer to assume she does not share this with every customer.

she knows i am headed for the cooler section, for the 99 cent liter bottles of randomly flavored water. i'm trying every flavor, slowly though, because some mornings you have a triple shot mocha, and everything else seems superfluous.

i notice batteries. i need batteries. so i grab them and at the counter, she says, 'i really like your sweater. you're so cute. these batteries are on sale for 4.99.'

'yes,' i say. 'But its been my experience that duracell lasts longer, so i think i'll just stick with the ones i've got.'

'What are you using them for?'

pause. the simple lie command center in my brain doesn't open until at least 8 am. i stand there so long trying to think of something for which i might plausibly be using batteries in such a way as to be concerned for their lifespan. thirty seconds at least. at which point, my mouth is sort of opening and closing like i'm a fish, and she looks away.

then she looks back, strengthened by a deep breath, and with a sad, sad smile says, 'a portable cd player?' as gently as you can imagine.

'yeah,' i say. 'for my discman.' i pay, i leave, i wonder if she has an accurate picture in her mind now as to the size and dimension of my inability to lie. if she's thinking that it's about six inches long, fleshy pink, with four different settings and an appendage shaped like a serpent - well, she's totally right.

the orange flavored spring water at walgreens tastes like mcdonald's 'orange drink,' and is now totally my new favorite thing.